3’s a crowd

You’re out late at night. You’re not returning his calls. You’re distracted. You get messages and emails at all hours of the night. You aren’t paying attention when he’s talking. You’re not interested in having sex.

Either you’re cheating…. or you have a successful career, and you’re working hard at it.

In the era when women are more independent and successful than we’ve ever been, men have to accept that they have some competition for our attention and affection.

Careers, like relationships, require devotion and commitment. For me, you could say my career and I were college sweethearts. That’s where the relationship started, and as time went on, it’s gotten pretty serious. We’ve traveled together. It’s bought me some incredible bags and shoes. It’s been there to enjoy my successes and afford me a stiff martini during my failures.

And let’s face it, ladies, when we have a great success – landing a big client, impressing the bosses, or receiving a promotion, etc. – it can often give you a sense of pleasure and fulfillment that few orgasms can top.

I know that as long as I work hard at the relationship, my career will not let me down.

But I will admit that my love of my career has caused my work-life scales to tip over a few times. Jealousy, insecurity and resentment have reared their ugly heads. I have seen that as much as men may say they want independent, smart women, no one likes to come in second.

Careers don’t have feelings, but our men do. We want them to feel like the luckiest guys in the world when they’re with us, but it’s hard to do that if they always feel like they’re sitting the bench.

I do love my career and would sacrifice almost anything for it. On the other hand, though, my career will never send me a card with a golden retriever on it, just because. My career won’t make me bacon and eggs for breakfast on a lazy Sunday. My career won’t tell me I look pretty before a dinner date. And my career won’t give me goosebumps by kissing a certain spot on my neck.

Balancing the two loves is difficult. You’re constantly weighing options and schedules, making sacrifices and apologies. But if we truly are the intelligent, successful women that we claim to be, we should be able to figure this out. We can have the great success that we deserve during the day and the strong arms to hold us at night.

The French often have numerous lovers, so perhaps I simply need to practice my pronunciation of ménage-a-trios. (Oooh la la!)

~ Elissa


About elissasblog

About the Author: Elissa writes about her experiences with her career and relationships and the difficulty in keeping the balance, especially while wearing 4-inch heels.
This entry was posted in Career, Love, Weekly Columns and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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