We don’t want to be crazy, really we don’t. We are talented, intelligent, and confident women… most of the time. But we have to admit that we all have our moments. It is in these moments that the zit on our chin seems monstrous, or we seemed to have gained 20 pounds merely by walking into a dressing room. And that’s when our girlfriends say, “Oh please, you’re crazy!”
It is these times of insecurity, self-doubt and paranoia that when mixed with modern technology, are a recipe for crazy.
Case in point, have you ever Googled yourself? I hope you have, mostly because I’d like to know I’m not the only one. But also, don’t be so sure that whatever you post on the Internet is the only information out there about you. Amongst my Google hits were presentations I did in college and results from high school cross country races. Small potatoes, I know, but I didn’t ask for that exposure. It could be worse! So now it is paranoia – not narcissism – that has me Googling every so often.
And then there’s the cell phone, particularly our boyfriend’s, husband’s, or our latest object’s of affection. This little toy stores his contacts, along with everyone he has called or texted, and vice versa. And while he is, say, in the shower, who among us has not wanted to take a peek inside? Take my advice, coming from experience, ladies: No good can come of this. You will see items you don’t want to see and most likely take them out of context. “Who is Shelly, and why did she call the other day?” “Wait, why is his ex-girlfriend still saved in his contacts?” These are questions you want to ask, but by doing so, you admit that you played the part of the psycho girlfriend and spied on him.
But while we are on the cell phone subject, I’d like to mention a handy little program that those of us with Blackberries enjoy: the Blackberry Messenger (BBM for short). With BBM, you can see when a person is on the phone, when the phone is idle or locked, when your message has been delivered, and most importantly, when it has been read.
For those of us who ever wondered why a guy didn’t respond to a text or email, this takes our insecurities, questions and crazy thoughts to a whole new level. When you see the “R” for “read” and don’t receive a response, you’d be surprised how quickly your mind can go from “Oh, he must be busy” to “OMG! He is sleeping with someone else!” You can see it in your head – he’s in bed with another girl, picks up his phone to read your message, and then gets back to business.
And then there is Facebook – the ultimate feeder of crazy. Most of us have been on Facebook for a few years, so there are hundreds of friends, posts and photos. And we girls feel the need to check all of them. It is quite time consuming actually.
Our guys can rest assured that not only have we scrolled through their pages, and wondered why some girl called him “sweetie” in a wall post five months ago, but we clicked through all of the pictures and photo albums as well. Also, for every photo where he was tagged with his arm around a girl, we were sure to click on her name and check into her profile too. Why not be thorough, right?
As much as I would like to know if certain somebodies are checking out my profile, I think most of us are thankful and relieved that Facebook hasn’t enabled those features.
Thankfully, when it comes to dating, I haven’t had to pay too much mind to Twitter, Foursquare and all the iPhone apps. I think I’d go crazy just trying to keep up with it all. I will admit, however, to fixing my hair and makeup before Skype chats. One must look her best, even on webcams.
Like I said earlier, we don’t want to be psycho cyber-stalking girlfriends, but modern technology just makes it so easy. We can’t help it. All of this information is out there and at our fingertips.
We know it’s like playing with fire, and I imagine that many of us have gotten burned. And it’s probably not from seeing something we didn’t want to, but acting on it.
So ladies, stop. Hands where we can see them. Step away from the cell phone and computer.
In this hyperactive, information-overload society, isn’t it better to slow down and focus on the one-on-one, face-to-face time? While modern technology may be making us paranoid, let’s not let it get the better of us and of our relationships.
It’s impossible to be confident and self-assured all the time, believe me, I know. But we’re only as crazy as we allow ourselves to be.