Wow. For research purposes, I just read the entire 42-page slide show “Duke F*ck List,” by former student Karen Owen. “Wow” is my initial reaction. If you want to see it, it’s here on Jezebel.
Why am I writing about this on Glass Heels? Because I’ve read media outlets debating whether her actions are empowering for women. One the one hand, she is a real life Samantha Jones, having casual meaningless sex, much like a man. If men can do it, then we can too. She is getting inquiries from Harper Collins publishers, saying she is a “Female Tucker Max” (the guy that wrote I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell).
However, if being proud of black-out drunk sex and being passed around like the ball on the lacrosse field is behaving more like a man, then I am OK with being a woman. Seriously, being equal to men is not always a good thing.
Her stories are graphic, dirty, and at one point she even mentions that she had sex in the same bed multiple times, but with different lacrosse players. If I were to make a joke here, it would be something like “at least they’re keeping their STD’s all in the same petri dish.”
If you read her accounts at all, there is nothing empowering about it. She didn’t play by her own rules. She even admits that she was too drunk or sometimes didn’t even want to hook up, but thought “what the hell?” These men were not her conquests. They all conquered her. It is stating the obvious to say that she has no self-respect. On each slide, with her pros and cons for each guy, she quotes every one of them telling her how amazing she is. By restating it, who are you trying to convince, Karen?
These guys didn’t give a damn about her, so she didn’t give a damn about them. The guys were only thinking with their hardware (as she calls it), she wasn’t thinking at all. As a woman, she should have been the bigger man.
It is this mutual disrespect that has led to a lot of embarrassment, apologies, and parents wondering why they spent all that tuition money.
It is also a lack of respect that led to the tragic suicide of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi last week. But his videographers aren’t getting book deals. Neither should Karen Owen.
Locker room talk with guys and gossip with girlfriends over cosmos are one thing. We’ve all kissed and told. And despite her apology, it is pretty clear from her “thesis” that she actually did want to be hurtful. Somewhere inside, she felt trashy and used, so she used humor as a self-defense mechanism and made the slideshow. The fact that she didn’t think it would go viral shows she was more focused on being spiteful and getting a few laughs, than actually thinking about the consequences.
She is stupid, obviously. A degree from Duke, but she doesn’t even know the power of social media. And yet again, our society and media are saying, “It’s OK to be stupid. It’s entertaining.”
I’m not siding with the guys either. They’re dumb too, but they didn’t deserve to have their size and stamina shared with everyone.
If there is any plus side to this, I think it is Karen’s time management skills. Somehow in two years, she was found time to go dancing and get horrendously drunk nearly every night, send hundreds of sexts, have her panty-dropping escapades at night and in the morning, and then write a 42-page detailed account of it all. And, let’s not forget her studies! I guess she can list “multi-tasking” on her resume, and now she has a presentation to keep in her portfolio to show potential employers her project management skills.
I seriously hope she doesn’t get a book deal or a movie or a TV show. What she did was shameful. And to be honest, I would also be quite jealous that this dumb bitch would be more successful than me as well as most of the intelligent, sexy, and incredible women that I know. It just ain’t fair!
Harper Collins, if you are looking for a woman to write about hookups, relationships, and men, and one who be smart enough to never intentionally embarrass or hurt another person, I think I know where you can find one.